An Update

It's been a busy month--lots of birthday parties, farewell parties, and of course weddings! My beautiful sister, Randi, married her sweetheart, Doug, on May 30th in a lovely backyard ceremony. I was honored to give one of the toasts; here it is--

Today is a special day because not only is Doug blessed with Randi as his wife, but he also gets two new sisters-in-law. Now, instead of just having one baby sister cooler than he is, Doug has two—Mary and Beth. And instead of one older and wiser sister, Doug has both Amanda and me. Too bad Randi didn’t have brothers.

As an older sister, I’ve spent much of my life thinking about my younger sister—first when she was born—how to get rid of her—in order to be an only child again, then as she grew into a toddler, how to convince her to do my bidding—so that I might live the spoiled life of an only child. None of these was very successful.

Finally, as she grew into the beautiful and intelligent young woman before you, I’ve often contemplated what dreams and hopes I had for her—so that she would know that she was loved in ways that would be impossible if she were an only child.

I have been blessed with two younger sisters—Randi and Beth—and today is a special day, not because Doug gets more sisters, but because the happiness I have always hoped for Randi, I get to wish for my new brother-in-law as well. So, for Randi and Doug—I wish:

· That you will love each other at your best and at your worst.

· That you will maintain this ecstasy and burn always with this hard gemlike flame.

· That you will have poetry in your life.

· And adventure.

· And love above all. Love as there has never been. Unbiddable. Ungovernable—like a riot in the heart and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture.

If you would please, raise your glass and join me in toasting my sister and brother-in-law. To Randi and Doug.

It went well--as in, I didn't cry during it, though I cried a whole lot that day. It was great to see our uncles, our father, and grandfather, and it was wonderful to see Randi so happy.

And this weekend, well, my dad gets married to Susan, whom I adore. So, Friday, it's a trip up to good old Pittsburgh. I haven't been there since my grandmother died in August of 2007, and trips there are always filled with emotion. But I get to see my good friend Faith, and Beth and I are going to see Pap again (we're surprising him).

So, needless to say, it's been an emotional few weeks. There's been a lot in the local news about parents hurting their children--I don't understand it. It's amazing to think a father could get so angry over his daughter's potty training progress that he would kick her in the head and stomach. I guess it's not the anger that's amazing, but the inability of the father to walk away, calm down, get his emotions in check, instead of hurting a defenseless child. Friends of ours are also going through a divorce. It's sad to see, especially as the process spins hurriedly out of control.

A lot of good in the world, but a lot of sadness too.